The BlogHer12 conference, an undulating mass of estrogen and enthusiasm, is a support stockpile for 4500 women bloggers. It’s the conference of the year, and I’m here to talk about sex.
GIRLS JUST WANNA…
I’m representing the senior dating point of view on a panel titled Erotica Out In The Open. Dozens of conference attendees are hugging the door, and more are waiting inside. Ten years ago, these women might have been exchanging tips on raising toddlers or coping with sexual harassment. Today they are talking about their vibrators.
“I keep a bunch of different kinds in my bedside table.”
“For couples, it’s better to have a range of speed settings.”
“I hate that one. It’s WAY too noisy.”
“…And then the battery died” (guffaws).
TALKING ABOUT TOYS: THE NEW FREEDOM
Sex toys are not new; they’re found in 30,000-year-old cave drawings. What’s new is chattering blithely about them in public. In the dark ages before the Internet, pleasure seekers had to slink furtively into a real store and choose from the items on display — or coax the owner to bring out the really edgy stuff. Now the Web is awash in thousands of gadgets in every conceivable color, size, shape, speed, and price range.
Men and women of all ages use sex toys, but for the young, owning a vibrator may be as necessary as owning a smart phone. Young people are SO device-dependent. The idea of limiting sex to mere human interaction may seem to them as archaic as listening to music on a boombox.
At BlogHer12, a woman who looked to be about 25 volunteered that she preferred machine-aided clitoral stimulation. “It’s faster,” she said cheerfully. I smiled, though secretly I was alarmed that I may have missed a sea change in sex practices – speed as a measure of sexual satisfaction.
LOVING THE BLOGHER12 VIBE.
It was a kick to be surrounded by women brimming with creativity and eager to learn more about their writing craft. Sharing the stage with three writers who blog almost exclusively about sex, I worried no one would want to hear my old-gal message, but the audience was generous, and responsive in equal measure to me and to my engaging co-panelists, Twanna Hines, Arielle Loren, and Lauren Marie Fleming.
When Erotica Out in the Open was over we were swarmed by women who wanted to know more about what it’s like to talk about sex on line. A sales rep handed me a packet of lube. Someone suggested I join the comedy circuit with a standup routine about dating senior men. And sure enough, there was more talk of gadgets.
I looked for a mature face, someone who might remember that once upon a time there was no such thing as a pink silicone Clitoral Hummer. A tall woman in her 50s approached. “What do YOU think about vibrators?” I asked boldly.
“I’m addicted,” she grinned. “I used to think I loved shopping for SHOES, but….”
